Getting the Message Out

I turned off my laptop today. It was actually not too horrible. Of course, I still had my iPhone with me the whole time so I could check email, twitter, and even read a few blogs.

As much as I love my iPhone and wouldn't know what to do without it, my biggest comfort, joy and satisfaction is my cute macbook pro laptop. Really, it is something I don't think I could live without. That and WiFi. I could easily give up television, my favorite food, and many other things but not my laptop.

There's so much I can do with a laptop and WiFi. I can connect with people via twitter, Facebook, and email. I can watch videos. I can listen to a podcast or videocast. I can listen to sermons from churches all over the world. I can read blogs and I can give money to organizations. I can buy anything I desire on the internet. I can do research, study the Bible, and even read e-books online.

I really love all this stuff.

I have heard it said that too much information is actually unhelpful; Our brains don't want to be faced with 100 different choices daily about mundane stuff like which cereal to choose.... but I love information; I can't get enough information. (This is not a good trait.)

Today I was introduced to an iPhone application that includes multiple translations of the Bible and even offers them in a wide variety of languages. At prayer time this morning my pastor closed by reading Psalm 65. I was struck by the beauty it described and at first I thought he'd memorized it as I did not see a Bible in his hands. (yes, I peeked) When he was said "Amen" he cited the Psalm and added it was read from The Message....he had that translation as well as several others on his iPhone that he'd gotten for free. It's an application called Youversion and it's so cool. (It's now on my iPhone too) You can download it on itunes and I also saw it advertised at lifechurch.tv There's even daily Bible readings.

I don't normally read Scripture from The Message. I grew up believing that such a paraphrase was "cheating". ...... it was someone else's interpretation of the Bible and ideally a "good christian" should study and come to their own interpretation carefully and prayerfully. (of course, to do so I did use commentaries and relied heavily on other's opinions anyways) Several months ago I actually bought my own The Message hardcover book. It seemed strange but I thought it was a good "tool" in Bible study, much like a commentary or even listening to a preacher's interpretation via a sermon.

Today I thought the Psalm read in The message was "alive" to me and beautiful, yet I still struggle with reading it. It's strange, I know. I have talked to many others that prefer this translation The simpler the better, right? I am not one that believes the Bible is only accurate in the 1611 King James. I actually prefer a newer version, the English Standard Version but I do like and use several others. I have lots of scripture memorized and it's all in the NIV translation.

All this to say, what's your favorite version? Do you have one? Do you have four? What do you think of paraphrase Bibles like The Message? Would you memorize scripture in that translation?

Oh, and today (thursday) I just downloaded for free the kindle version on my iPhone of Suffering and the Sovereignty of God by Justin Taylor and John Piper. All you have to do is download Amazon's Kindle for iPhone (free) and then you can read many titles on your iPhone. I love technology!

Twitterpated with Twitter

In 1942 Walt Disney produced an animated film called "Bambi".... is it necessary to remind anyone of the plot and characters of this beloved animated classic? Actually, I haven't let my kids see this movie yet, as I have sensitive kids and it would really hurt them to see Bambi's mom killed. I know, I know... that's just how life is but it would hurt my youngest, or perhaps I'm just projecting my own grief and emotion I felt as a child onto her!

Regardless, I've always loved Thumper's word Twitterpated to describe falling in love. In High School my best friend and I would constantly used the word; it's just such a fun word to say. Whimsical, different, and amusing. It helped that both my friend and I were Disney fans and knew nearly every Disney animated film produced. (my friend even more so than I)

I'm in love with Twitter. Twitterpated, even. It started out innocently enough. I was given an iPhone as a Christmas gift by my wonderful husband. I still joke that he's an "enabler" and is encouraging my internet addiction. This would be funny if it wasn't so true. In an online conversation someone has suggested Twitter and I was trying to figure out what exactly it was. He attempted to explain it and it was obvious he loved it though his explanation did not do much to inform or excite me, but I joined. He had encouraged me to go through his contact list and pick a few people that looked interesting and follow them. This to me seemed so bizarre; isn't that like stalking? Why would others want a total strange to follow them? Why would I wish to follow them?

At the beginning I kept all my information private; people had to request and be approved to follow me. There were times I'd change the setting to public and inevitably I'd attract a few half naked women "following" me, but it's easy enough to block them. I've been faithfully tweeting now for about 8 months. I could not tell you why I was addicted to twitter; Twitter was just an extension of my Facebook and for me, Facebook was the main attraction, only I chose to update it via twitter, and update I did!

I found myself addicted to twitter without even understanding it's draw. I loved to tweet every little thing I was doing, what I was reading, what my kids were doing, what I was eating. But I got to wonder, why does anyone care? I'm not saying anything meaningful here. Why would a stranger wish to know I went grocery shopping or am stuck in traffic? The life of a SAHM is pretty mundane in 140 characters or less. Plus, I hardly had any twitter followers and the ones I did have were all on my Facebook page so why Twitter?

This past month I am beginning to understand twitter and it really is addicting. I just might like it more than facebook. There's a beautiful simplicity to twitter. Although my facebook friends are primarily people I know, lately twitter has been comprised of people I don't know. It boggles my mind why these strangers who seem really cool, interesting, and intelligent would choose to follow me. The funny thing is that this latest group seem to all know each other. It's been fun in itself following their tweets. I have chosen to follow them as well and even have checked out their blog and they truly are amazing people that I'd never have "known" otherwise. I guess they don't exactly know me. But does it matter?

Twitter and social networking are ways of connection, and though I just follow their tweets right now I don't feel comfortable contacting them, be it by @replies or direct messages, but I have commented on their blogs, and feel that they bring a smile to my face, though I'm sure they'll never know it. This group of people (they're all from Tennessee) interact often on twitter and in real life too. I'm actually envious.

So, my friends who are IRL friends, please join twitter. I want a community like they have: a community online that spills out into my everyday life. A community that shares the mundane stuff like standing in line at a store or their choice of dinner, as well as the prayer requests and impromptu coffee or meals together. I want to share life, all of life, with my friends.

A Storehouse

I've changed my mind on my opinion of points or rewards in Church. At the age my kids are, perhaps it's a good thing to fill their minds with the things of God with any means possible.

Looking back, I'm blessed to have memorized so much scripture. The truths I've learned are so deeply ingrained in my mind, I can't escape them if I tried.

So I no longer care if my kids are doing things for the candy, recognition, etc. This week all 3 of them requested to bring Bibles to the VBS program.... for the points. They wanted to bring friends..... for the candy. ("The Claw-ful of candy) They paid attention and answered questions correctly for the chance to be chosen to participate in games. All good things.

Points

Points. What does that word mean to you? As I typed this I thought of many things: Points scored in a game like basketball or soccer, weight watcher points that I fail miserably at. (I'm eating a brownie as I type this... and a diet coke too!) Points on a test or SAT score, brownie points, etc. In fact, looking it up in the dictionary there's like over 35 definitions of the word "point". From knitting needles to mathematics!

Yesterday I put my kids in another church's VBS program. It's a wonderfully well done program that is a true outreach to their community. They do it out of a local elementary school and it's friendly, organized and they had over 100 kids signed up! I received a CD of songs they'd be singing and my kids had a great time yesterday.

So by now, you may be wondering what my Point is. I do have one. Lately I've been really thinking about motivation and why I make the choices I do. Is it to fit in? Be "accepted"? Is it to be highly regarded? I blogged about Project Restoration and still wonder if I attended out of love for the people and Christ or because I enjoy being a good church person and stuff like that is expected? I am naturally drawn to doing things out of duty and command. I've been told that without love these things are worthless (the infamous 1 Cor 13 love chapter) so it has really caused me to pause and take note: Why do I do what I do?

I grew up in church, strived to be a perfect church girl and was widely thought that I was. I did EVERYTHING and loved it. I won the Pioneer Girl highest honor award, won many awards in the christian school I attended, including perfect attendance, and just really strived for stuff like that. The strange thing is that as much as I crave acknowledgment, when it's bestowed upon me I don't know what to do with it and it really isn't as fulfilling as I thought it'd be.

Sorry, I guess I did say I had a point so here it is: In the VBS program my kids attended yesterday, I got a paper encouraging them to bring in a backpack filled with school supplies for a needy local child that could not afford it. I thought that was a wonderful idea and that perhaps next year my church could do the same: I love getting my kids excited about helping out other kids and this, a backpack with school supplies, is something I can really get them to help me with: Shopping and picking out the supplies, maybe writing a little note or drawing in it, loading it all up, etc.

But Reid was mostly excited that he'd get five bonus points for bringing it in. Not a big deal, right? And yet, it has caused me to think: I grew up in a church that rewarded everything. I won a Thompson Chain Study Bible through perfect attendance and scripture memorization. I won several trips to Disneyland by bringing the most people to visit the youth group and through other things like bringing my bible, scripture memorization, etc. In fact, the pastor even at one time offered his car, a vintage Karmann Ghia until it ended up causing more trouble, fighting, and lack of unity that was not it's purpose so the prize changed. The awards I got were all based on my performance. To a huge degree, my worth was built on what I did and it was never enough. I may have won the prize but was it really fulfilling?

Does it matter if a person goes to a community outreach for the fellowship more than a desire to help? Does it matter why a child memorizes scripture, be it for a candy or because they know that the Bible is important? Do motives matter?

I've no answers; it's just something on my mind. It just seems that we live in a society that embraces brownie points, appearance's sake, and things are done for what one can get in return: Like five bonus points. Things are valuable not because they have value in themselves but because of the instant gratification or recognition that accompanies it.

That being said, though I feel that I do struggle with doing thing out of brownie points instead of love for God, i am also thankful for the the good things I've done and learned because it was required or rewarded. I have chapters of scripture I have memorized from Jr. High that I still have deeply ingrained in memory and find it valuable because scripture memorization is valuable even after the recognition or prize fades away.

So perhaps I don't know what my point is. What do you think? Do motives matter? Is it right or wrong to use treats to reward behaviour? Is it good to reward deeds and action no matter what the motivations are?

Restoration

This past Saturday my church teamed with 12 other churches in the area, over 500 volunteers, to descend on an area of the city with a high percentage of foreclosures. The goal was to weed, mow, clean, haul away trash and junk and just improve the area. My church was assigned a 2 block section that was in good condition already so we just worked on making it look even better.

A few days before we were sent an email detailing the plan of the day and some safety guidelines. While reading the email, which cautioned against picking up glass and needles and other hazards and wearing gloves if possible, I started wondering if this truly was an event that I felt good bringing my kids to! But we'd already discussed it as a family and my kids were so excited to go and deep down I wanted to go as a family; I felt it was important.

The Day: We arrived LATE. I don't like being late to anything so I was already in a bad mood now. The parking lot we were supposed to park in was full and the attendant told us to go "take a right"..... well, a right took us out to Capitol again! We finally kept making rights and arrived back at the side entrance to the high school we were supposed to park at. Knowing my kids and not knowing what to expect of the day, I had packed a few sandwiches and snacks as well as five bottles of water. In hindsight, I'd not have taken so much! It's a lot to lug around as well as my 18 pound backpack of camera gear. (ouch) Since I'm a bit compulsive about never being bored I also brought a book with me that I only read for five minutes while waiting for the bus. I'm happy it was only a paperback.

So, we arrive and I'm still having a bad attitude when I learn that the city requires a written consent form for every member of the family. That's five forms! I must've sounded really annoyed because a nice person I hardly know (even though she goes to my church and is the sweetest person ever) offered to help me fill out the forms. At this I realize that my attitude and annoyance has to change. I look over at my husband and he's happily chatting away. He's so easygoing and I love the trait in him. Sometimes. This was not one of those times as he encouraged me to "let it go" and have some fun and enjoy the day. Why am I in such a hurry? But I was because we were now well over 40 minutes late and had to wait for the bus.

By the time the bus arrived and delivered us to our assigned street I felt better. I hated to admit it but my husband was right. (he's usually right) My kids immediately started to work: Katie picked up every tiny piece of trash and cigarette butt on that street. (yes, I did cringe a bit) Conor was enjoying an attempt at raking and the middle child was.... well, being a stereotypical middle child. He at times just can't let things go, so incredibly stubborn. No; I have no idea where he got that from! Actually growing up I was the compliant chid. He's definitely not compliant. So David talked to him; I talked to him. Trying to reason with a crying 6 year old only results in frustration. So, I told him he had to take a walk with me. He did not want to but knew I meant business so off we went, he was still crying away. Passed a few church people that just looked at me quizzically and I just smiled..... 1 out of 3 being upset isn't too bad, right? The other 2 were beyond happy picking up trash, pulling weeds (well, in Katie's mind that equals picking dandelions and playing with them)



So, Reid and I went walking. Within 3 minutes he's calmed down; I suppose it's best to treat him like a 2 year old: Remove from the situation and distract. Hey, it worked and it was great to talk with the other volunteers, take some photos and I even connected with a friend I'd not seen in over 3 years that attends the local church we were partnering with. By the time we got back from our walk Reid was like a different kid: happy, fun, quiet and helpful. I really don't understand him.

So here's the thing I don't get: I loved spending the day with others but really did not do much physical work. Instead I do what I love to do: take pictures and felt like I was cheating the whole time! Granted, I was also tending to my kids but I enjoyed taking photos, even though it was bright sun and I'm not accomplished at bright sun photography. (Okay, I'm not accomplished at ANY type of photography! but I do enjoy it)

At the end of the day we were hot but happy to be out there. I really did nothing but there was such an energy. I can't describe it but say it was a very special, worthwhile day. As we all gathered up our stuff, I noticed a group of neighbor kids bringing out lemonade to the workers. It was really touching and my own kids really enjoyed interacting with the kids. I felt we were well received and know that Project Restoration did a huge amount of work that day and loaded so many dumpsters, and the block looked better, but I wonder if I came away feeling more blessed than the neighbors did? Of course, to this I readily admit to really doing nothing! I took photos. I'm always happy if I'm behind the lens of a camera.




I read and had thought that the post-work celebration wouldn't begin until 2 and it was only 12 so I never anticipated staying for the party but as the bus rolled up to the church, my kids instantly spotted the bright, large bounce house and inflatable slide. Yeah, had to at least play in that for a bit. As we neared the area we discovered that food was ready: Hotdogs, hamburgers, chips and my favorite: ICE COLD DIET COKE! I think I consumed 3 in 20 minutes. (I hope it wasn't one per person!) My kids were excited to discover that they also had cotton candy and sno cones! Everyone was so very nice, I was really touched by how nice the people helping with the food were. I was a bad mommy and allowed my kids to have multiple sno cones and cotton candy. (well, only one kid had a 2nd helping of cotton candy...... to my knowledge) It was a wonderful end to a Beautiful Day.

We left and within minutes my sugar filled children were asleep in the car. Later that day my four year old said she really enjoyed helping people. (she had a lot of fun with a little neighbor boy named Alex; they played ball together, climbed trees and colored in coloring books on the sidewalk) I think it meant more having my whole family there and I'm glad that nothing frightened me away from sharing this experience with them.

Backpack, Backpack!

How can this be? My youngest who won't even turn five until nearly November, is going to be entering kindergarten in just a few short weeks.

How could the summer go by so fast?

How could my daughter already be going to kindergarten? As I write this she's trying on her new backpack I just bought her for school. She needs no school clothes, has way too many clothes already but I did buy her a cute plaid skirt and matching top that just screams "schoolgirl". She's so excited; why am I so sad?

When Conor started Kindergarten there was a lump in my throat. It was difficult to leave him the first day. I did not cry but it was a hard first day. The good thing was I had 2 other young kids to tend to and distract me.

Last year, Reid entered kindergarten and I just happily said goodbye to him. He was so READY and has always been the type of kid who seemed wise and capable beyond his short years. In fact, from the moment he was born he looked like an old man and then I had Katie when he was just 16 months old so he had to grow up a bit more quickly, he never really was the baby. When I dropped him off i was actually annoyed by the weeping, clinging mothers that were doing more harm than good, doting and crying over their children as the kids were led into their classroom. No mommies allowed.

I thought i was so advanced, so mature that i wasn't one of "those" parents.

But today when Katie put on her backpack it hit me: She's going to Kindergarten! She's my baby, my little friend who's been at my side for the past 4 years most days. She's been changing lately: growing tall, confident. She's acutely aware of rules these days and tattles on her brother. She exasperates me so much and yet I'm going to miss her! What am I thinking? I want her to stay with me.

But she's excited. Excited to be "big". Excited to meet new friends and new challenges. I'm excited for her too but I think she's so precious, so special. What if others don't notice she's so special? What if her teacher doesn't appreciate her? What if the other kids don't love her? She's funny and sweet and giving. She's also a tough little girl that speaks her mind and knows how to fight. (2 older brothers has shaped her personality: She needs to be loud to be heard) She's an interesting mix: loves the girly stuff of matching hair bows and shoes, yet plays cars and tag with the boys. She's fun. She's still into her fantasy world of baby dolls and Dora the Explorer and I'm not ready to have her exposed to "the real world." I don't wish to shelter her from life or culture but I want her to be a child as long as possible; to delight in the small things and be enthralled with sunshine and rainbows, frogs and ladybugs. it is so fun seeing the world through the eyes of a small, loving child and a huge part of me wants to preserve that.

But I can't. I have to let go, send her out among the others. Let her take risks and figure things out and have her own opinion and preferences. I want to shield her from every hurt and ache, the kind that can't be made better by a band-aid and a kiss from mommy.

Wind On The Hill

Wind On The Hill

No one can tell me,
   Nobody knows,
Where the wind comes from,
    Where the wind goes. 

It's flying from somewhere
    As fast as it can,
I couldn't keep up with it,
    Not if I ran. 

But if I stopped holding  
    The string of my kite,
It would blow with the wind
    For a day and a night. 

And then when I found it,
    Wherever it blew,
I should know that the wind
    Had been going there too.

So then I could tell them
    Where the wind goes...
But where the wind comes from
    Nobody knows.

A.A. Milne, Now We Are Six