Sugar and Spice...

I've never been a typical girl. I never had a dance recital, did not play with dolls or barbies, I prefer technology over jewelry, David KNOWS never to buy me roses for Valentine's day, I never wore dresses every day like my own daughter insists on. Fashion (obviously!) has never interested me. I love having a daughter but I know absolutely nothing about doing her hair or even parting it straight. A friend of mine can do wonderful french braids and all kinds of neat things but I can't even do that on a doll's hair. Thus, my daughter's hair is always cut short.

I mean, I did things almost "girly". I played flute and piccolo, how girly of an instrument can one get? I even was the ingenue in The Importance of Being Earnest. I had a perm at least once and even went to 3 proms in High School. Possibly the most ultimate "girl" thing I've done (besides give birth, ha!) was being a cheerleader in college. But even there I was the most anti girl cheerleader that existed, not to mention seriously athletically impaired but I was top of the pyramid, solely on the basis of my size. (ah, to be a size 2 again!)

Some women can do everything. They're just amazing. Others excel at something that makes me say "I wish I could do that." I go to craft night and am in awe of the creativity and painstaking detail of some of the crafts, or the design savvy of some of the scrapbookers. Some women can cook or bake the most amazing meals or confections! I read others blogs like my friend Maxine and marvel at her patience, dedication and wisdom in cultivating the best in her kindergartener. Others I admire for a myriad of different traits; their ability to lead, or teach, their gentleness or dedication, their hospitality, encouragement, discernment, patience, I could go on and on.

In a previous "Bible study" I was in (Captivating by Stasi Eldredge) it extolled the virtues of being a woman. I think I already quoted in a different post that we are the "crown" of creation..... the universe would not be complete without me! (don't ask me what I think of that) But she asserted that every women longed for 3 things: To be romanced, play an irreplaceable role in a grand adventure, and to unveil beauty. In a way, I think it's cruel to generalize that "all" women want these things; I already felt a bit left out and this reaffirmed it. Some just chided I was in denial but I'm not sure that's true. Does every girl truly dream of being a princess? Around the same time my couples/marriage group was broken into groups to list what we thought was most important for men/women.

I just did not seem to identify with much of what we came up with. I half-seriously mentioned that what women really want is WiFi. (this is before I had my own iPhone) People laughed.

Really though, I don't identify with any of the "core longings" Stasi addresses in her Captivating "study". I hadn't even watched 25% of the movies listed and used to further her illustrations. (there were over 100 mentioned in the book I believe) I complained and the answer I got was "maybe I should watch them". NO!!!!! See the point is, I'm not a chick flick person. I'm odd. I'm strange. I don't fit in. I'm not saying Chick Flicks are bad; if you love them, that's great. That's actually my point: I don't belong. I don't buy a ton of shoes, don't change my outfit 3 times before going out, I don't spend more than 20 minutes on my hair and make-up EVER. (I know; what make-up? It's non existent too) I've never been to a spa and have only gotten a manicure once in my life and that was for my wedding.

I know that we're all different and that's a wonderful, beautiful thing, but is it beautiful? Do other women view this as wonderful? Or just odd? Because I usually just feel odd. There's supposed to be a bond of sisterhood, it's glorified in books and movies and I just don't get it. But books and movies aren't real life so perhaps I'm assuming that there's some semblance of utopia out there for all the "normal" women that I'm not privy to. But perhaps all the "normal" and "amazing" women also feel a bit left out, a bit isolated and something of a misfit as well.

So perhaps I have more in common than I realize?

James: Anything But Sweet!

I'm so excited! For my readers who don't know me, I'm a book snob. I am just now finally getting to where I can read a book I don't agree with and find some redeeming qualities in it. I've been forced to as there are few books that I agree with 100%.

But there are a few books I really have a hard time with! One such book happened to be the choice my church's Bible Study decided on and went through last spring: Captivating by Stasi Eldredge. (and I feel I have to admit, it was a good study to get to know each other better and become open and transparent) Oh, I behaved badly and dissected it, underlining every little thing I had the tiniest problem with; her word choices, her assertion that us women are the crown of creation,.... "Creation reached it's zenith in me!" Just because we were created last did not mean that women are God's piece de resistance. Plus it bothered me that it portrayed God as a needy God who pines away for us and is incomplete without us. I do believe that God wants to be known and desires to be in relationship with us but not sure it's because He needs us or is incomplete without us.... but I do believe the Bible shows that He desires a relationship with us.... because He is God, the Great I AM, worthy of our praises and the Creator of all!

But I digress, My point is James! Beautiful, difficult, hard hitting James! This fall, it seems that the wonderful Women's Ministry leaders have chosen James to study this Fall. I have recently studied James and I'm excited! What a truly convicting, difficult book to go through! (I know; why does this excite me?)

So, the big question: It's the same study I finished last fall. (18 weeks) Do I sign up with this group of friends and go through it again? The good thing is that I won't need to buy a new book! (and already have the answers!)

But the real reason I feel I have to be a part of this study? First of all, the community and connection with friends. Secondly, this was the best study I've ever done! And I haven't mastered a single thing that James teaches. I fail miserably when it comes to "taming my tongue", considering things joy in trials, judging others, dealing with conflict, patiently enduring, favoritism, and hearing and living my faith out, plus I struggle all the time with the concept of Faith vs. Works, or as my friend puts it in her study: Justified By Faith That Works. (James 2:20-26)

I could probably review James for the rest of my life and still struggle with the magnitude of issues it addresses! So excited! If you attend our church, you won't want to miss out in this study! James: Real Faith.