Brrr! It's finally cold here and yet, I know this is a relative word and it's not truly cold yet. It will get colder, even though "cold" our standards may not match what you think when someone says it's cold. I think it's 65 degrees in my house right now. I just checked; it's 66. Last week it was in the 90's outside in the daytime and now it's definitely "sweater weather"..... at least it was yesterday and will be so today. October is a crazy month here; we traditionally get a mixture of fall type weather and hot summer weather. Several times it's too hot for my kids to wear their full costumes trick or treating! I also grew up in California BUT where I was we always had to layer with turtlenecks, thick tights, etc. under our costumes.
My point? It's not to talk about the weather, not to talk about relativism or further think about perspective. Nope. I probably should though, as it would be a more meaningful post.
I'm sitting here and it's 5:45. I don't want to be up. I attend prayer with several from church on Wednesday morning. I've been doing this for the past year or so. I do it because I really love it. When I first started out it was so obvious that it made my day
"better". Not sure if it was my focus being more in tune to God and loving his people or if it was truly God. As a reformed person the answer is of course that it's always God and I know this but I'm still a skeptic in certain things! It's not an easy place to be in, trust me.
I do go because I enjoy it and it still impacts my day. I love the others that I pray with. We're all very different and it's funny that I like it that way. At least, I find that funny because I believe there is absolute truth and we need to agree on absolute truth and I want that nailed down and be communicated to all and instead I have surrounded people in my life that all offer a different perspective on things. I thought I'd hate it but instead I enjoy it. It makes me think. I like to think. It challenges me and my own beliefs and long held assumptions. I need that.
But typically in prayer all we truly do is gather, unified despite we're all a bit different, and pray. We pray for lots of things, our church, people in our church, people outside our churches. our community, other churches, other countries, our leaders. Sometimes it's a word; like patience that we pray for. Whatever it is, I love my Wednesdays.
So, this post is about how I did not want to get up this morning! Yes, the struggle of knowing that one SHOULD get up and simply having no desire to do so yet know that once up it will be good and if I did not get up I'd regret it. My husband feels similar at times when he doesn't want to work out. You do, and you don't. You know you should; know you'll love it once there, it's the process of getting there that is difficult.
Monday night into Tuesday I did not go to sleep until 3. Last night I went to bed when David went to bed because he encouraged me to do so. (he was a bit impressed my "in a minute" was actually a minute as a shut down my mac) That was probably at 10:30 so I've had plenty of sleep and yet i did not want to get up. Even right now, I'm ready to go for prayer but have decided that I don't want to ride my bike! Normally I can't ride my bike because I have to get home as soon as I can but today I have no such time constrictions and I don't want to ride. I'm cold. My tummy is rumbling and I'm happy to just be awake and going to prayer!
I know that once I'm there I'll love it. Love being with the others and joining unified in prayer. It's funny because to some the act of getting up so early to go to prayer makes me a "prayer warrior" or at least someone who loves prayer. I'm not either of those things. I do pray of course but it's a constant reminder to pray throughout the day. I don't pray well and I don't even pray out loud on these mornings with the prayer team. I'm just an average person that has discovered that I love joining with others to pray. Even when I don't feel like getting up. I've run into so many that think more highly of me when they find out I go to prayer. I usually joke that I'm surprised more stay -at-home moms don't go! It's great; Daddy gets to feed the kids, make sure they are dressed (though there's been plenty of times I've gotten home and none of those tasks have yet been accomplished!) I get a small bike ride in, which always makes me happy, and I get to join in prayer with people from my church that I don't talk to very often. And then, of course there is prayer. Praying and being with God. It's truly a blessing that I' have this opportunity and a husband that is supportive of me going. I'm thankful. I'm thankful to live in a country where I can own a Bible and pray with others without the fear of persecution.
So yeah, when I don't want to get up in a cold house when it's dark outside I remind myself that I'll love it when I'm there. Of Who I am going to speak to and be with. (God!) and how thankful I am that my Church provides this opportunity and the fact that I simply CAN attend. Not all my friends can come to prayer due to work conflicts. Not all Christians can gather safely to pray. (yet they still do too) I'm just so thankful. So I get up.
It's time for prayer now. Tell me about your prayer life. Is it important to you? Are you a morning person?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
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