Nothing

I've nothing to say.

Enjoy it while it lasts!

Lament

Lament

by Evangeline Paterson

Weep, weep for those
Who do the work of the Lord
With a high look
And a proud heart.
Their voice is lifted up
In the streets, and their cry is heard.
The bruised reed they break
By their great strength, and the smoking flax
They trample.

Weep not for the quenched
(For their God will hear their cry
And the Lord will come to save them)
But weep, weep for the quenchers

For when the Day of the Lord
Is come, and the vales sing
And the hills clap their hands
And the light shines

Then their eyes shall be opened
On a waste place,
Smouldering,
The smoke of the flax bitter
In their nostrils,
Their feet pierced
By broken reed-stems . . .
Wood, hay, and stubble,
And no grass springing.
And all the birds flown.

Weep, weep for those
Who have made a desert
In the name of the Lord.

What Child Is This?

I know; I just posted about music and foul language and here I am now touting a traditional Christmas Carol! How can this be? My excuse? It's late and I should be in bed!

A few days ago I highlighted a Christmas CD that I purchased and discovered I LOVE it! (Downhere's How Many Kings) Some are quite traditional but with a bit of a twist in their style, flavor, and arrangement. Some are original songs. As I listen to these songs I forget most of them are "Christmas Carols" and just hear them as true worship music: Glory to God, Christ that came as a baby, the Cross, His love for us.... It's all so very beautiful and a bit mind boggling to me when I truly reflect on all this. So, I'm loving listening to this WORSHIP album that happens to be for Christmas.

There's so much I love on this album! But tonight I am really taken with their version of "What Child Is This?" (Greensleeves) It's truly beautiful; I love the guitar; love the intricacy and yet simplicity at the same time. Plus, when they sing a stanza in French it's just beautiful. I love this album! Check it out on iTunes!

Oh, and in case you were wondering; the "baby Jesus" in my photo is my own beautiful daughter when she was just a few weeks old. :-)

A bit of background on this Carol: It was written in 1865 by William Chatterton Dix, an Englishman, who at the age of 29 suffered a "near-fatal" illness and was stuck in bed for many months where he fell into a depression yet it's in this season of struggle and depression he wrote many of his hymns and carols, including this one. I always find it interesting to hear that oftentimes great thing, great, thoughts, books, songs, etc. come from tragedy or struggles. It makes me wonder and take a closer look at my own struggles to uncover the good that could only come through a season of suffering and emerging from that suffering. It's growth. Anyways, here's the song:

What Child is this,
Who, laid to rest,
On Mary's lap is sleeping?
Whom angels greet
With anthems sweet
While shepherds watch are keeping?
This, this is Christ, the King
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing:
Haste, haste to bring Him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary!

Why lies He in
Such mean estate,
Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christian, fear:
For sinners here,
The silent Word is pleading:
Nails, spear, shall pierce Him through,
The Cross be borne, for me, for you:
Hail, hail the Word made flesh,
The Babe, the Son of Mary!

So bring Him incense,
Gold and myrrh,
Come, peasant king, to own Him;
The King of Kings,
Salvation brings;
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.
Raise, raise the song on high,
The Virgin sings her lullaby:
Joy, joy, for Christ is born,
The Babe, the Son of Mary!

What I Need?

I suppose that this post could be called so many other better titles!

As everyone knows, I'm going to see U2 soon. The opening act is the Black Eyed Peas, so I thought I had an obligation to buy a few of their songs to listen to.

So I did. One of the songs includes a bit too much swearing so I have to skip it whenever my kids are around, and honestly, I don't appreciate foul language. It sears through me at times; probably because I'm not used to it. BUT, language aside, I have to say this music is FUN! I find myself enjoying it and a part of me is wondering who I am? What happened to me? Because I can't believe I'm listening to music with foul language and enjoying it.

Now, to this you may say: But your favorite band is U2. U2 swears! To this I say you are right: they do! But they're Irish. I can forgive a lot from the Irish; plus it's all in the name of contextualization, right?

I struggle at times with music and other art forms. First, it's all so personal and subjective. I like to think I have good taste in these things but there really isn't clear "good and bad" to these art forms! Then there is the whole concept of the message and is it edifying and glorifying to God. Well, I have a hard time with much of the music I listen to being edifying or glorifying to God, but once again; that's another blog post! So, with that said I have to say: I like some of these Black Eyes Peas songs. They are fun! And I get something from them. Something that I think is good and necessary to learn from:

To have fun! Not take myself too seriously! It's funny; I have the hardest time relaxing. I don't drink and honestly the general consensus is that I should! I should drink! So as I listen to these songs that elevate the concept of partying, enjoyment and just having fun, uninhibited fun, i realize that there's a bit too much rigidity in my life. I need to smile more; laugh more with my kids. To laugh at myself and enjoy a bit of freedom. Freedom of being so concerned with what others think of me. Freedom to state my opinions. Freedom to state my highly subjective and perhaps wacky, weird, or wrong preferences when it comes to art, music and all those subjective forms of art. Freedom to sing off key or raise my hands in worship or just forget about everyone around me and enjoy God! As much as I love Sundays I don't think I fully appreciate God on Sundays as much as I should. As much as he requires. As much as I should willingly want to do because of my gratitude for Who He Is and What He has done!

" Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice." Philippians 4:4 ESV

Sundays!

I love Sundays! it's funny because a few short years ago I really did not love Sundays; I went out of obligation. I'd use any excuse I could to not listen in "big church". I did not like singing. I did not like the preaching. I did not like anything! (Disclaimer: This is not at the church I now attend!) I truly felt that I was "going through the motions". I had enough "background knowledge'.... I knew all my Bible stories, had a year of Bible College, grew up "church" and did enough impressive stuff that I could look and sound the part but it was all pretense.

I wrote yesterday about volunteering and how much "better" it is when one can volunteer in an area they are gifted/talented or passionate in. I do believe this and yet, I also see merit in serving just because it needs to be done, but as a friend (Sarah W) pointed out to me in an online chat, that so often can lead to burnout. It's fine and admirable to help out in whatever needs to be done short term, but not so much long time. She brought up John 15 and likened "saying no" to certain volunteer jobs as "pruning"... and preparing us or releasing us to perhaps do what He intended all along. I like that. It makes sense. We also admitted that we were both "people pleasers" and sometimes it's not GOD telling us to volunteer but our own desire to help or be liked or looked upon favorably.

Another point she brought up: Sometimes when we serve in an area we don't "love" or are talented in, it stops someone who may truly BE talented or passionate in to step forward, thinking that all the "needs" are covered and they are unnecessary. I don't think it's WRONG to serve in a capacity one is not gifted in; I just think it's just so much more joyful to know I'm serving in something that I love and feel excited about. Plus, as another online friend pointed out; God can use us in whatever way we are willing; and yet I KNOW that I try to do things on my own instead of waiting on Him.

It does perplex me at times that I was more "involved" in structured volunteering at my old church even though I wasn't truly following God than I am now at this church I love, attempting to serve this wonderful God I love, but struggling to find a place where I fit in to volunteer.

Why is that?

Things are changing though; I'm finally starting to realize what I do love and seeing that perhaps there is a "place" for a strange person like me in the body of Christ; but I still so often wish I was truly talented or gifted in ways that I deem as "better". I'll never learn to be content I guess!

My point? I have none. It's nearly midnight. Oh, wait! My point is that I love my church! I love the people, the opportunities, the message, the worship, EVERYTHING!

I know; this post makes absolutely NO sense! So I'll end here and just ask you: Why do you love your church? Do you anticipate Sunday? or are you ambivalent? or dreading it?

IN-voluntary

A weed sprouted up in our front yard, only in my view it's not a weed; it's a pumpkin plant. Of course, it's not exactly supposed to be in our front yard, and thus is considered a "weed" by my husband.

I don't consider it a "weed". A friend of mine calls these wonderful surprises "volunteers". They weren't planted, had no special care or tending and yet despite perhaps harsh conditions, they grew, and benefit others with their beauty and in the case of a pumpkin plant, a glorious pumpkin!

I've been thinking a lot about volunteerism. I've so many questions about this I've struggled for about a year to find my "place" in my church in terms of what I can contribute and volunteer in. I've found that it's not so easy to find a place to serve.

My church has been going through a series on the book of Acts, emphasizing "One".... but in the sermon notes each week it lists these verses in 1 Corinthians 12:12-13:

"The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit." (NLT)

In an effort to contribute to the body of Christ (the Church) I've attempted to volunteer for a lot of things, but they really haven't panned out. I can see why; as I perhaps am not actually gifted in these venues. I tried to join the media team thinking that perhaps David and I could use our video and photography interests. That really hasn't amounted to anything. I have tried to be a part of the women's ministry but really don't have much to contribute in that area so it also did not work out. I've volunteered to do a ton of little things that really I'm not good at. I desire to volunteer because I love my church. Plus, and I hate to say it, I want to be "in". I want to be included and be in the "IN" crowd and I though that volunteering would make me "in". Well, I don't think being "in" is that simple. Besides, why is there an "in" group? If we truly are the Body of Christ we should all be "in" and feel this sense of common purpose and belonging.

But that's another blog post.

A wise friend realized, after I accepted to try yet another volunteer job that is NOT my passion or interest, that perhaps I shouldn't do it. It's a good but strange concept; as for me, it doesn't seem like doing the things that I love as being a sacrifice. Shouldn't serving God be a sacrifice? Something that I freely give up or endure because of my desire to serve?

I no longer believe that. I think that my friend is right: We are all unique and all have something to contribute to the Body of Christ. Something special. I don't think it's wrong to volunteer and help do things that need to be done because they need to be done and someone has to do it, but how wonderful, how joyful and edifying and glory it is to God when we are serving in a capacity that He gifted us in. That we enjoy and are passionate about and just KNOW that God created us with that interest or skill or desire, and it works and is just very good.

Still, finding one's place is not easy! As I stated, I've attempted to do so many things. At times it is discouraging; do I really have any "gift" that God gave me that I can use? And I do look around and compare and so desperately desire to be like "this person" or "that person" and why didn't God make me differently so I could serve Him and make a difference in the world. Everyone wants to be a leader and yet I'm clearly not one.

Scripture says that we're all different and we're all vital to the Church. That we're interdependent on one another and incomplete without all the "parts". It's a beautiful analogy and yet I have to admit that oftentimes I don't see it; I see a very disjointed, competitive church with cliques, impatience and a hierarchy of those with the gifts that seem truly important. And doesn't everyone want to be truly important?

Back to my pumpkin plant: It just grew. It grew in an unlikely place, in my front yard, the seed most likely ferried there by a squirrel. Yeah, there was soil and water. And now there's a pumpkin plant growing, complete with a pumpkin! Our "volunteer". It couldn't help but grow under those conditions: Light, soil, water. And what it's growing is exactly what it should because it's a pumpkin plant. Not an apple tree, not a carrot. I wonder at times as a volunteer if I've been created to be a pumpkin plant but instead want to produce the fruit of an apple tree. Silly to expect but I wonder if that's what I attempt. And I wonder how many churches also expect or desire their volunteers to be different than what God made them to be; to contribute in a way they want instead of a way God wants and uniquely created them to be.

How Many?

I'm listening to Christmas music and it's not even Halloween yet! How is this possible? Actually, it's just good music. Music is so subjective. I don't like the differentiation between "Christian" and "secular" music. I just love good music. Anyways, I stumbled across this Christmas CD on another blog that heartily recommended it, so I took a listen and discovered I really like it too!

Here's the title song lyrics. I have to say, I do have a slight pet peeve about things that tout that God does all things for US out of his love for US. I don't think it's wrong; I know he loves us; I know he went to the cross as our substitution but I believe even greater than the motivation of "for us" was the motivation that Christ suffered and rose again for the glory of the Father. First and foremost. However, that in no way negates His love and the fact that God wants a relationship with us. To know Him and be known by Him. It's a beautiful thing. So, with that bit of "disclaimer" here's the title song.

How Many Kings by Downhere

Follow the star to a place unexpected
Would you believe after all we’ve projected
A child in a manger

Lowly and small, the weakest of all
Unlikeliness hero, wrapped in his mothers shawl
Just a child
Is this who we’ve waited for?

Cause how many kings, stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
How many Gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that has torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

Bringing our gifts for the newborn savior
All that we have whether costly or meek
Because we believe
Gold for his honor and frankincense for his pleasure
And myrrh for the cross he’ll suffer
Do you believe, is this who we’ve waited for?
it’s who we’ve waited for

How many kings, stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
How many Gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that has torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
Only one did that for me

All for me
All for you
All for me
All for you